Life Lately and Other Sundries

16 Apr

So, I’m not sure if you know, but I’m about 36 weeks pregnant/the mother of a two-year-old/working nights at the grocery store. Basically, what I’m trying to say is, I’m the worst blogger on the planet and my regularity of posting is probably not going to get any better in the coming weeks.

 

Also, I feel like the longer I’m pregnant, the less blood actually makes it to my brain, which makes me more of a lunatic than I usually am. My greatest apologies to everyone with whom I come into contact.

 

In pregnancy related news, my doctor informed me at my last visit that I’m (TMI, probably for some!) 2 cm dilated and 40% effaced. What this basically means is that I’m a ticking time bomb and that my mother thinks I’m having this baby tomorrow. Also, people keep asking me if I’m in labor, especially when I groan when attempting to haul my big self off of the couch. My sister thinks I should go around sitting on water balloons and faking my water breaking as a joke. She obviously doesn’t grasp the severity of the situation…or the fact that my mother-in-law would legitimately kill me if I pulled a stunt like that.

 

Remember, folks, the due date is May 17, so if anyone wants to guess when Lily will make her debut, be my guest! I have no prize to offer other than the smug satisfaction of knowing that you’re smarter than everyone else, which should be more than enough.

 

Sylvia Plath wrote this poem about being pregnant and I think it pretty much sums things up right now.

 

Metaphors

I’m a riddle in nine syllables,
An elephant, a ponderous house,
A melon strolling on two tendrils.
O red fruit, ivory, fine timbers!
This loaf’s big with its yeasty rising.
Money’s new-minted in this fat purse.
I’m a means, a stage, a cow in calf.
I’ve eaten a bag of green apples,
Boarded the train there’s no getting off.

 

Gosh, I love that. I also love it that it makes me think of Dr. Gibson and Lit Theory in college and how absolutely wonderful that man and his class are. Sigh. I really do love poetry.

 

I also really love this song. You should have a dance party asap.

 

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