Crime Scene Investigation: Mommy PD

13 Jan

We’ve entered the Barbie Phase and you know what that means. Amongst the usual flotsam and jetsam that litters our floor on a constant basis there are now tiny shoes. Pointy little land mines, you might call them. They never fall on the floor with the heel pointing down, that’s a fact of physics. They always point up, silently waiting for their next victim, usually an unwitting soul staggering through the dark house frantically searching for a diaper at 3 a.m.

 

And the Barbie Phase is just the tip of the iceberg. We’re in a Doll Phase, in general, so crime is not limited to the intentional booby trapping of the living room. Oh, no. Our house pretty much looks like a preschool version of Law and Order SVU at all times. All that’s missing is that “Dun, dun!” sound effect.

 

Consider the following evidence…

 

What follows is intended for mature audiences and may be startling in nature. Viewer discretion advised.

 

 

Princess of Dunbroch Found in Compromising Position

 

 

Beloved Physician Found Lifeless in Living Room: She Who Checked Up Has Now Checked Out

 

 

 

 

Twisted Body of Fairy Dug From Couch Depths

 

 

 

Victim Discovered in Kitchen: Identity Eludes Police, Foul Play Suspected

 

 

 

But don’t worry. We’ve got our best detective on the case.

He’s the Chief of Police and he’s displeased with the current state of affairs. Can’t say I blame him…

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9 Responses to “Crime Scene Investigation: Mommy PD”

  1. stepheniejones January 13, 2014 at 10:08 am #

    Your hilarity never ceases to amaze me. My problem right now is crayons. If I step on one more crayon, I’m gonna scream.

  2. John McGarr January 13, 2014 at 11:18 am #

    What does it all mean?? I’ll tell you what it means. It means that all those boxes of Barbie stuff still in the attic are headed to the Northeast. At long last my plan will be executed!

  3. layne January 13, 2014 at 11:36 am #

    Can’t. Stop. Laughing. You know no height nor depth in the art of writing about them babens.

  4. Mimi Duncan January 13, 2014 at 2:01 pm #

    I love this entry, which is more of a photo essay than usual. In our house it was Legos. Those are some sharp little buggers. Also, whenever I vacuumed in Matthew’s bedroom, I could see dollar signs when I heard those little bitty pieces rattling through the hose. At least dolls don’t get sucked into the vacuum cleaner!

  5. haleyherber February 7, 2014 at 9:34 am #

    Bahahaha! Best. Post. Ever.

Trackbacks/Pingbacks

  1. Crime Scene Revisited | ohblessyourheart - February 6, 2014

    […] decreased. In fact, I’d say it’s probably on the rise. In the shadow of the heinous acts previously chronicled, I guess it’s best to just keep compiling evidence until we nab the […]

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