Stretch Marks

11 Aug

 

I knew it was bound to happen sooner rather than later. After all, I’ve answered a zillion questions about nipples and bottoms and the like. So it didn’t surprise me when Maggie asked me about my stretch marks the other day.

 

“What are those, Mama?”

“Those are called stretch marks, sweet baby. Do you know how I got those?”

 

“How?”

 

“From having you and Lily and Ev in my belly. You got so big in there that my belly grew and stretched and stretched and streeeeeetched until I got these stretch marks. What do you think of them?”

 

“They’re beautiful.”

 

And she’s right, you know. They are beautiful, these pink-tinged silver streaks tracing their way all over my belly.

 

They’re beautiful and they’re history. They tell a story that begans at adolescence, a story that is just so full of self-doubt and self-loathing. You see, those stretch marks began even then. I had already resigned myself to hating bathing suits, so the marks were just icing on the crappy body image cake. I always hated changing in front of friends, knowing that we were all sizing each other up, all comparing, all making mental checklists to review later, desperate to know whether or not we hit the mark. We didn’t. We never let ourselves.

 

But those stretch marks also tell the story of a girl finding herself pregnant after just getting home from her honeymoon, excited, scared, and insanely hormonal to the point crying over Superbad.

 

They tell the story of a hot evening in May, when she knew the second baby was coming that night. They tell about the laughter in the hospital over breastfeeding songs on YouTube and the perfect first meeting between two sisters. 

 

As the story gets longer, the marks get longer. They have to in order to tell about the third one, the one they said she couldn’t deliver because he was so big. She did it and those stretch marks are a badge of honor for bringing all nine pounds, fifteen ounces of him victoriously into the world.

 

The self-doubt part of the story is an ongoing theme, though. It still permeates the tale, which has become a tug-of-war between self-acceptance and shame.

 

All of this is rushing through my mind as my girl’s words resonate through my soul.

 

“They’re beautiful, Mama.”

 

“You’re right, Mags. But you know, some people don’t think they’re very beautiful.”

 

“That’s silly. Why not?”

 

And I don’t have an answer for her because there’s not one. There is not one good reason for thinking that stretch marks aren’t beautiful. Not one.

 

“Someday I’m going to have stretch marks just like you. They’re going to be purple and red and silver all over me like a rainbow!”

 

I hope you do, baby girl. I hope you do.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Note: This is Part 1 in a series on loving our bodies. Stay tuned for more, including some guest posts from some fabulous people! Don’t forget to love yourself. -Mary Susan

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5 Responses to “Stretch Marks”

  1. Granny Garr August 11, 2014 at 2:56 pm #

    This is the most beautiful entry. I am crying. Out of the mouths of babes comes such wisdom! Long ago, after years of teaching school, I figured out that all humans are insecure and lacking in self confidence for the most part. Some hide behind bravado like others seek shelter in shyness. Others shrug, straighten their shoulders and face their insecurities and the world head on! But rest assured, I don’t think there are any without those insecurities; some have just buried them deeper or carry them easier.

    I applaud you for bravely addressing your insecurities. There are others who are also expressing courage in facing their demons. I would never take you girls to the pool because I couldn’t stand the thought of the sniggers about my robust form squeezed into a swimsuit from those bikini clad students I would face in the classroom in the fall. Upon reflection, who cares? You were/are more important to me. And, in all honesty, those sniggers were in MY head. I am convinced that some of those teens loved me as much as I loved them, fully accepting our imperfections. For the others, I wish I had been brave enough to say, “Meh! I’m going to enjoy life with my kids. Get out of my way!”

    Keep up the struggle to see and accept your own beauty! It’s there! If you can’t find it, just ask Maggie or me!

    • ohblessyourheart August 11, 2014 at 3:01 pm #

      Well now I’m crying! I love you so much, sweet Mama…let’s go to the pool together sometime, huh?

      • Granny Garr August 11, 2014 at 3:49 pm #

        I will! 🙂

Trackbacks/Pingbacks

  1. On Loving Yourself: A Series | ohblessyourheart - August 18, 2014

    […] of all, thank you. Thank you for liking, sharing, talking about my stretch marks. I can honestly say I’ve never thought I’d say that in my entire life, but thank you. […]

  2. Happy Blog-aversary!! | ohblessyourheart - February 24, 2016

    […] Stretch Marks – Cause I love mine. […]

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