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Seven Things: Part 4

10 Nov

Note: I had this post all wrapped up and ready to go, minus a few pictures when Real Life stepped in. Oh. My. Lord. Y’all, all I have to say is that it’s pretty much feast or famine on the poop front around here. This is probably oversharing, but if I’m not dealing with a constipated baby, I’m cleaning up the after-effects of canine consumption of month-old bratwurst. That is nothing to shake a stick at, I can tell you. At least he spared the carpet. And apparently the whole experience turned me into an old person because I just said, “shake a stick at.”

 

Anyway…I hope you’ve all had a great week! Here’s what’s been going on around our crazy house!

 

1.) Christmas came early! The Hubz got me some new Scentsy smells and a holiday warmer!  He says it’s cause he loves me, but I’m pretty sure he’d love to rid our house of garbage smell since I missed trash day last week, hence the availability of month-old bratwurst. Whoopsie! Anyway, we now smell like a Christmas Cottage around here which goes really well with the smell of…

 

2.)…Glue! (You thought I was going to mention the dog again…ha!) Mags and I are making our very own Thankfulness Turkey, or “Funny Turkey” as she calls it. I found the idea on Pinterest (Follow me!) and I larrve it! We’re writing something that we’re thankful for on each of our turkey’s feathers and then we’ll hang him on the door for all to see. Pictures to come!

 

3.) And speaking of crafty things, you should totally spray paint a pumpkin! I happened to have a couple of pumpkins lying around since we never got around to carving them this Halloween (shameful), so I decided to spray them gold…Mainly because I saw it in a shop window and fell in love, but also ’cause we’re classy like that.

 

That’s not a Christmas tree…it’s a rosemary plant that shaped like a Christmas tree. And it’s awesome. And I love it. That’s all.

 

It made a really pretty centerpiece on the table we discovered under all of the old mail and cereal bowls we keep in the dining room. Who knew! I think I’m going to get some little pumpkins and paint ’em up for Thanksgiving place cards. Totally cute, right?

 

4.) I finally watched Moonrise Kingdom. Finally. I loved it so much I can’t even stand it. I might watch it again right now. Wes Anderson, I don’t know how you get me so well, but man do you get me. Also, it reinforced my love for Bill Murray. Awkward Celebrity Crush still going strong…

 

5.) Mags is perfecting her newest skill, which is jumping on one leg. There’s a future there…

 

6.) I just learned how to clear the cashe on our computer. I had to click a button that literally said, “Obliterate all items from the beginning of time.” It seemed so…permanent. I’m sort of on a power trip now.

 

7.) From the mouths of babes:

-As Vin and I were walking down the steps we heard a little voice behind us calling, “Wait for me, kids!”

-While waiting at the doctor’s office, Dr. Maggie gave Lily a checkup. When I asked what her diagnosis was, she said very matter of factly, “We’ve got to shock her.” I asked to see her credentials.

-After leaving the vet’s office (Mags has done a lot of waiting in medical offices this week) I asked her if she wanted to be an animal doctor someday, to which she replied, “Yeah, sure. I’d like to be an animal.”

 

The morning after trick-or-treating.

 

Have a great weekend everybody!

 

Birthday Round Two

28 Mar

So this is what I look like the morning after Maggie’s 2nd birthday.

 

 

I’m prepared to eat birthday cake for breakfast to rectify the situation.

 

Here are a few highlights from the celebration:

 

We opened presents!

Return of Elmo!!

 

Disney Princess ATV. You know you want one. You also probably know how to steer, a skill which Margaret has yet to master.

 

Hipsters beware.

 

We went to the zoo!

Elephants! (Siblings need not mention the fact that I almost completely block out the elephant in the picture. It has been noted. Also, those present all agreed that it was a rather small elephant.)

 

Telling her daddy all about the giraffes.

 

And then we went to see the cutest month-old grizzly bears I’ve ever in my life encountered. They were also the only month-old grizzly bears I’ve ever in my life encountered. These little guys were playing non-stop and they were incredibly fun to watch. They tumbled all over their environment and rolled around and played in water. It was precious!

Ferocious!

 

And then my husband pointed out a little cub who he referred to as, “the Mary Susan bear.”

You can guess which one the hubz was referring to...

 

Yep. He’s the doofus twiddling his thumbs and eating mulch while full-fledged bear-fight carnage goes on behind him. Even I cannot deny the similarities.

 

And then we saw a polar bear who looked just like our dog, Banjo!

Except, Banjo doesn't have ferocious fangs or giant claws capable of mangling a human in one swipe. He does, however, enjoy lounging in the sun all day.

 

If you’re ever in Cleveland, please, please promise me that you’ll visit the zoo. It’s really wonderful and very well-done. There’s also a whole rain forest section that’s great, too! If you don’t live in Cleveland, please, please promise me that you’ll visit the closest zoo to you. Zoos are good for the spirit, I say!

 

After the zoo, we went home and played on the brand new “slide ground” that Nana and Papa had installed in the backyard! (And by “had installed”, I mean that my sweet husband spent hours and hours cursing, changing drill bits, cursing, and hammering. Then he spent hours and hours with his father, presumably cursing and changing more drill bits. Bless their hearts, the person who wrote those instructions obviously doesn’t live a life based on logic. Or chronological order.)

 

Perfect craftsmanship, I might add!

 

And, later, we went to eat noodles, the Birthday Girl’s favorite dinner!

 

A very dignified time was had by all. Especially that guy in the back.

 

Then we sang and ate cake!

 

 

 

Yes, that's my child eating icing directly off of her cake. Remember when I said it scares me when she copies me? Yeah...

 

It was pretty much the best birthday I could have requested for my little girl. I’m very much enjoying being on the giving side of the birthday magic. My own parents always gave us the best birthdays and I have a lot of really special birthday memories: slumber parties, trips to exotic Amarillo to spend the weekend with my big sis, my surprise 16th party that wasn’t supposed to happen because I had a C in algebra (still incredibly grateful for that one!). I’m really looking forward to many more years of birthdays with my girls!

 

So, in order to keep the birthday spirit going, I’d like to propose a question! What are your favorite birthday memories? Feel free to share your best childhood birthday or the best birthday you planned for your child. Where’d you have the best piece of cake and what was your favorite present? I’m anxiously awaiting your replies, as I plan to rip off your good ideas and claim them for my own. In the meantime, I’ll just be eating cake…

Texas Trip Part 2: Party Time

22 Mar

So we got Mags an Elmo pinata for the birthday party at Granny’s house. As we were checking out at the grocery store, we noticed that Elmo had quite the collection of colorful ribbons arranged on his hindquarters. This is apparently because the uppity-ups in the pinata industry have realized that some consumers might perceive whacking the business out of your child’s favorite character to be a bit barbaric. I, however, say that there’s nothing more fun than beating a kids’ TV star senseless…in pinata effigy of course. I’d be indescribably happy if I could get my hands on a Clarabelle pinata. If you’ve been remiss and haven’t watched Mickey Mouse Club House lately, there is absolutely no way you can understand how great is my dislike for that cow. But I digress.

 

These days, instead of the violence of beating characters – and probably as a wise attempt to avoid lawsuits stemming from blindfolded children waving sticks around like Don Quixote – the makers of pinatas have attached several multicolored ribbons to the pinata. The idea is that the kids get to take turns pulling on the ribbons and eventually a hole forms, from which the treasure is dispersed. As previously mentioned, the ribbons on our Elmo pinata were attached to his bum. And I must say there’s nothing like a whole bunch of chocolate candy falling out of Elmo’s butt to make a party complete!

 

It's almost as if he knows he's about to be beaten and then ripped a new one.

 

I will say, though, that it was good that the ribbons were there because Mags really wasn’t too sold on hitting Elmo with a stick. She’s a sensitive soul, that one.

 

No caption would be good enough, so I won't even try.

 

Mags loved picking up candy. She also loved sharing with Orange Kitty, which I think is superbly sweet.

 

Sweet girl.

 

Orange Kitty was intrigued, to be certain.

 

The party also included kite flying, which was kind of intimidating since the wind was blowing about a zilliondy miles an hour. I pretty much let the hubz do the work, as I did not want to be held responsible if the clown fish kite ended up in the next town over. Or, worse yet, Oklahoma. I’d never forgive myself.

 

 

Mags was not allowed to hold the kite string by herself since she would most certainly end up in Oklahoma.

 

We also had presents and cuppincakes. Mom and I made the cupcakes and, I’m gonna be honest, they were precious. We’re available for hire, just so’s you know.

 

 

Mags was super-stoked about having the birthday song sung to her and loved blowing out her candle even more. So much so that we had to complete the entire process three times, which was nice since it allowed me to actually get some good pictures. Enjoy!

 

A good time was had by all.

…Sleeps With the Fishes

6 Mar

To celebrate the recent 40th anniversary of The Godfather I shall now relate a true life crime story.

 

Ahem.

 

It all started on Valentine’s Day, which is pretty appropriate because the hubz decided that this year, instead of celebrating Valentine’s like every one else does with flowers/chocolate/miscellaneous romantical sundries (which we never do anyway), we should celebrate the anniversary of the St. Valentine’s Day Massacre.

 

Makes you want to eat a romantic dinner with the one you love, right? No?? Hmm...

 

He’s a real Casanova, folks.

 

I really didn’t know much about the whole Massacre thing, but after doing some research, I’ve decided that I’m glad I didn’t live in Chicago back then. Those guys were hard core. Wikipedia it. It’s fascinating and gory…just like any celebration of love should be!

 

So after we’ve had our St. Valentine’s (Massacre) dinner, Nana presented Mags with the best surprise the little lass has ever seen. It was a goldfish and we named her immediately. It was a tough race between “Dorothy” and “Fish” but eventually “Dorothy” won out. You see, Elmo has a fish named Dorothy and one must emulate Elmo as much as possible. Obviously.

 

Things were going really well. We got Dorothy set up in her new “house,” we visited her every morning, we fed her and screamed the correct pronunciation of her name, “Doofy, DOOOOFFY!!” every time we saw her. And then things went south. Unfortunately, I was unable to get a photo of Dorothy before she met with her demise. The cause of death was unknown, but we just chalked it up to the fact that the fish was, well, a fish. These things happen, right?

 

I must say, my father-in-law pulled off the most perfect fish switch-out I’ve ever seen. In a matter of hours, Dorothy 1 was replaced with Dorothy 2 and a friend for back up. He even added a castle to Dorothy’s house to sweeten the deal. The man’s a master. These new fish were a heartier breed called platies. They’re smaller than goldfish, but still quite orange so as to fool any unsuspecting two-year-old’s you’re trying to pull one over on. Just file that one back in your memory bank in case you ever need it. And you will need it…oh, yes, you will.

 

Okay, so they're not exactly like goldfish, but they're fish and they're gold-ish and they'll do in a pinch.

 

Since one of the new fish was already named Dorothy and the other fish had spots on it, I asked Mags if Dorothy’s friend was named Spot. Seemed pretty harmless. She looked at me as though I were the single most idiotic person in the world and said, “No, Mama. Pat.”

 

I stand corrected.

 

What's that? It's Pat!

 

So, for a while there, Dorothy and Pat were doing really well. Until the other morning when we realized that Pat really does sleep with the fishes now. Eeeesh. Dorothy was going kind of crazy and I personally think, based on her swim patterns, she was trying to communicate something about “leaving the gun and taking the cannoli,” but I really can’t be too sure.

 

At this point I’ve learned to be pretty pessimistic about these fish…and I’ve also begun to think that there may be a killer among us. Especially since the hubz woke me up this morning with a coded message. (We speak in code now when referring to the abysmal state of the fish tank in order to keep Mags out of the loop and also to sound cool.)

 

The message this morning was, “The swimmer has drowned.” You’d think my brief stint at the Disney aquarium would’ve prepared me for taking care of fish in my own home, but this just isn’t so. Poor, poor Dorothy. May she ever rest in peace.

 

At this juncture we’ve just turned the light out in the ‘ole fish tank and stopped talking about fish in general. I doubt that any replacement fish will be purchased before some serious researching has been done. Hubz has already started on it, so I’m sure we’ll learn far more about fish than we ever wanted to.

 

At least the girl has her dog…

 

 

Come to think of it, he looks a bit suspicious there, doesn’t he?

 

"They're on to me...play it cool!"

 

 

"Remember: You know NOTHING."

 

 

 

Don’t you worry, folks. We’ve got the very best investigators looking into it…

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